Trying to watch a film on TV can be a frustrating way to pass a few hours here.

Pigs, Bears and Rodneys seem totally incapable of sitting quietly whilst watching any film. They are either living every moment, in the case of action films they like, or finding other ways to create havoc in the case of films they don't.

Take yesterday for example - the film had clearly lost their interest (possibly as it had subtitles) - so all hell broke loose as Balloon Bear threw something at the Pig, who retaliated with a throw back which hit Rodney who thought it was Little Brown so he threw something at him, who in a fit of pique threw something back which hit Balloon Bear's "Doggy" which started the mother of all rucks (a free for all tusstle for none Rugby speakers).

Now you try concentrating on a film with this all going on around you on the sofa. We've tried the lot - threats to send them upstairs, burying them under cushions, no TV warnings - but nothing seems to get through. Guess watching TV in this household just has to be seen as an occupational hazard of being guardian to a Pig, Two Bears and a Rodney.

It's been a good couple of days for Bears.

First we celebrated balloon Bear's birthday. In fact we were a week or so late, but the beauty of dealing with Pigs, Bears and Rodneys is none of them have a clue about days of the week, let alone dates in the year. They only know it's their birthday when we walk in with the cake singing "Happy Birthday".

Balloon was delighted - though a little disappointed we hadn't got him the huge gun he wants as a present.

Then yesterday it was Little Brown's turn for a treat - Steven Seagal in "Under Siege" on the TV. We were about to head off to bed when a little channel hopping stumbled across his all time favourite film.

LB knows every line and enacts the film scene by scene as Steven Seagal slots bad guys left right and centre. His "bestest bit" is the line "I also cook" - class!

The only downside is The Pig and Rod now want something - every day is a challenge with animals as needy as these!

Another "who-dunnit?" - this time Lewis set in Oxford.

Balloon Bear didn't get the murderer, but he did identify both murder victims before they "got the good news".

As no-one else identified the killer BB decided this was something of a triumph

Last week saw the last episode of Midsomer Murders, a TV who-dunnit which has been the source of much enjoyment and angst amongst the boys over the years.

It all started some time ago when we were all sat watching an episode. Before the opening credits had even finished (always a waste of time for Pigs and Bears who can't read them anyway) Balloon Bear pointed at a character on the TV saying "he did it". Annoyingly it turned out he was right.

From then on every episode became a competition to see who could identify the murderer - the Pig, two Bears and Rodney all trying to super sleuth their way to success.

In fact it clearly had more to do with petty prejudices and sheer luck than any detective work - indeed we had to introduce a rule of no accusations until there had been a murder after some nasty scenes when accused characters became the first victim thus ruling the accusing Bear, Pig or Rhino out of the competition.

So the rules are (for those of you who may want to play in the future) - no accusations until there has been a murder - all accusations to be made within a half hour of the first murder - no taking account of any plot / clues / or form whatsoever (though there have been a number of occasions when the Pig has identified the Policeman as the killer which really doesn't work so we had to introduce a sub clause into the rules to allow him to take advice on this and change his call) - no changing your call once you have made an accusation and no changing should your accused become the (inevitable) second victim.

The fun is straight after the first "Mudder" when there is a flurry of pointing and gestures from the boys indicating who they know for sure has done it (yes, yes, yes - at least three and often four of them are disappointed come the end of the programme). They each spend the rest of the show up until the arrest (and sometimes after) going nuts every time their accused appears.

So - last week was the last ever Midsomer Murder (or was it?????). Balloon quickly made his call (as so often it's usually the first character he sees after the murder) - and uncannily he was right again. His triumph made all the more sweet by the fact the Pig's accused was the second murder victim (much happy dancing and taunting to that as you might guess).

He even made me take a picture of him in front of the TV as the murderer was led away.

You might want to turn away now in case you don't want to know who did it...

We have Bear problems...........

There's a programme on TV at the moment in which Michele Roux takes a group of young people and trys to teach them how to serve in a restaurant. It's a bit like "The Apprentice" for waiters.

Little Brown was unbearable (see what I did then ...) last night wanting to sack various contestants, and being powerless to do so taking it out on Pigs, Rodneys and other Bears who happened to be sitting within striking distance.

Balloon in particular received a nasty boot accross the living room, so severe in fact we had to step in and issue a full public warning to Little Brown. He's now under double secret probation - one more cheffy outburst and it's no cooking TV of any sort.

Of course he'll play dumb and pretend he has forgetten when he next loses it - or blame it on one of the others for doing a "Pooing" mime whenever there's melted chocolate shown in a recipe on TV. But last night he went too far - and he won't get away with it again.

Until next time.....

2011 has started particularly well for Balloon Bear.

There has been a week of James Bond films on TV followed late at night by the last Test Match in the Ashes series between Australia and England. Now BB likes his cricket - he bats bowls catches every ball and loves to see Aussies getting beaten.

Last night Balloon Bear was singing with the best of the Barmy Army, the crazy group of travelling England fans who go to watch the team play all over the world - but especially Australia. His favourite song is the one which ends by repeating "Barmy Army" again and again - though he changes it to "Barmy Balloon Bear". Rather apt really.

Meanwhile last night was 12th night, so the Christmas tree came down. Rodney spent most of yesterday sat underneath it hoping to delay the inevitable, but we eventually managed to pack all the Christmas stuff away without further protests. We do suspect however that he has stashed some baubles away here and there and he definitely has a piece of tinsel pushed up his jumper.

Balloon had a really good day on Saturday.

First he went to welford Road, that sacred spot where Leicester Tigers play, to see us up against London Irish. Balloon was delighted to see us beat them 26 - 18 (of course Balloon doesn't know exactly how many points we score, just that we had more than the opposition).

Hi day was really topped off though by the trip to the cinema to see Casino Royale. Balloon Bear is just about the world's biggest james Bond bear fan. We had to keep it a secret until the last few moments before the film started as there would have been no holding him.

As it was he sat all the way through in the cinema twitching with excitment every time JB belted someone or shot at a bad guy. Balloon's been walking, turning and shooting to the music ever since. Still it keeps him mout of trouble - almost.