Trying to watch a film on TV can be a frustrating way to pass a few hours here.

Pigs, Bears and Rodneys seem totally incapable of sitting quietly whilst watching any film. They are either living every moment, in the case of action films they like, or finding other ways to create havoc in the case of films they don't.

Take yesterday for example - the film had clearly lost their interest (possibly as it had subtitles) - so all hell broke loose as Balloon Bear threw something at the Pig, who retaliated with a throw back which hit Rodney who thought it was Little Brown so he threw something at him, who in a fit of pique threw something back which hit Balloon Bear's "Doggy" which started the mother of all rucks (a free for all tusstle for none Rugby speakers).

Now you try concentrating on a film with this all going on around you on the sofa. We've tried the lot - threats to send them upstairs, burying them under cushions, no TV warnings - but nothing seems to get through. Guess watching TV in this household just has to be seen as an occupational hazard of being guardian to a Pig, Two Bears and a Rodney.

It's been a good couple of days for Bears.

First we celebrated balloon Bear's birthday. In fact we were a week or so late, but the beauty of dealing with Pigs, Bears and Rodneys is none of them have a clue about days of the week, let alone dates in the year. They only know it's their birthday when we walk in with the cake singing "Happy Birthday".

Balloon was delighted - though a little disappointed we hadn't got him the huge gun he wants as a present.

Then yesterday it was Little Brown's turn for a treat - Steven Seagal in "Under Siege" on the TV. We were about to head off to bed when a little channel hopping stumbled across his all time favourite film.

LB knows every line and enacts the film scene by scene as Steven Seagal slots bad guys left right and centre. His "bestest bit" is the line "I also cook" - class!

The only downside is The Pig and Rod now want something - every day is a challenge with animals as needy as these!

Well, the dirty (or rather undirty) deed has been done.

They've just had their annual (well almost) wash, and three days on they are just about talking to us. At least this time we have protected their modesty a little and have not posted pictures of them huddled up to a radiator drying out.

It's an exercise of almost military precision when they go in the washy-machine. First we grab Balloon as he's most likely to alert the others - off with his shirt and into a pillow case - then grab the Pig - ignore squeeling and wriggling , off with grubby shirt and into the bag, next Little Brown - he can't move as fast as the others (being a bit of a traditional Rugby Prop build if you know what I mean) , so it's an easy catch, shirt off and into the bag - then Rod, who is doing the happy dance because he thinks the wash is a flume ride at a fair ground, he jumps in the bag on his own once his shirt is taken off.

Then it's into the machine and time to turn the TV up so we can't hear the complaints from three and bubbly laughter from Rodney.

Once out it's time to face the music - they're not happy - even Rod looks rather glum as the fun seems to have worn off somewhat.

In the meantime it's new shirts for them all - this means a couple of hours sewing up shirts of different sizes and adding numbers and roses to them - finally we have four clean smeling and smart looking animals in England Rugby shirts again. It won't be long until they are in a state once more, but until then they are at least semi presentable.



Just as well the Pig hasn't figured out the clean up was all in preparation for going on holiday to Africa again................ May won't be his best month.

The problem with burrowing in bed has raised its ugly head again.

Everyone has their place and there's a place for everyone. An easy enough concept you'd think, but not for Rodney and Little Brown who still insist on making incursions into the Pig's sleeping place between the pillows.

It infuriates the Pig, making him madder than a mad thing on international mad day. When they do burrow in to his "lair" the effect lasts all of the following day with the Pig launching attacks at every opportunity as payback for his comfort being destroyed.


The problem is this isn't an easy habit to break. In Rodney's case we think he burrows just to be close to the Pig, and in Little Brown's case he does it for the devilment and doesn't care what we say or what the Pig does to retaliate. As far as he's concerned it's all good sport.

The one surprising glimmer of positivity here is Balloon Bear. BB doesn't burrow ever. I'd like to say it's because he has some sense of the hurt it causes the Pig, but the truth is it's because he's busy at work hugging. Thank goodness he's a professional.

Balloon Bear had a very nice surprise on Saturday - a hot air balloon nearly landed in the fields opposite the house.

What a flap though - we had to rush him upstairs to the window with the best view, and then there was no moving him for hours afterwards in case it came back (despite being obsessed with balloons he still hasn't figured out they don't choose where to go they get blown by the wind).

Later in the afternoon the Pig, Bears and Rodney sat down to watch the rugby on TV - England A playing Italy A in which a couple of their Leicester Tigers heroes were playing. You'd hope it would tire them out a little but no - they are as much trouble as ever, though at least the in fighting does get put on hold when they're all watching the same team play

It's early days yet, but the Pig and Bear have launched a web site (OK they don't actually do any of it themselves as the Pig's trotters and Bear's paws are way to chuncky for a keyboard and , of course niether of them can read or write anyway - so we have to do it for them).

As yet we haven't bought a short form address for them, but you can see what we're doing here http://balloon.giving.officelive.com/default.aspx

Balloon seems to have had some trouble understanding that Rodney is a Lincolnshire Rhino and therefore a fair bit smaller than his African cousins. The Pig meanwhile refused to get out of the bag in case wild Rhino eat small pigs.

It's been a while since we posted anything, and now when we do it's not the best of news.

The boys had to go in the wash today. Balloon Bear had got quite smelly and it was clearly time for a dunk. The Bears and the Pig hate going in the washy machine. Rod on the other hand thinks it's great - something like the rhino version of white water rafting at the fair ground.

As you can see from the pic they are pretty down cast after their wash - though they do smell a good deal better. 

The Pig came to live with us about 15 years ago. Before he had lived on the Boots small animal farm at their shop in Lincoln.

At first he lived in the car ( a Peugeot 205) which he thought was his. He came with us on holiday to France where we took pity on him one dark and stormy night and brought him indoors. We haven’t been able to get him to sleep in the car since – he seems to think the gap between the pillows on our bed is far more to his liking. Mind you he still thinks any money left in the car belongs to him.
Now the Pig goes everywhere we go. He even goes to work with Jane, though he doesn’t help much with this as he can’t read or write or count (no matter what he claims).

We got Balloon 14 years ago. He arrived in a balloon having been rescued from a show somewhere. He was born in Branston near Lincoln in the front room of a little cottage. It was all rather traumatic, as the balloon got very tight when the air was let out and it was a real struggle to free him from it. Balloon has never forgotten his origins however and always gets very excited whenever he sees a balloon.

As a small bear Balloon was very timid. He tended to be the one picked on by the others and showed no signs of being the bossy little so and so he has turned out to be in his latter years. Indeed so fainthearted was this little bear that he rarely went out and cringed even if his name was mentioned.

As he grew older he started to come out of himself – some might say a little too much as now there are no bounds to this bear’s cheek. Once he had grown out of being a cub he developed a total lack of sense – the words “no fear” was a slogan written around this bear!

We started taking the Bear to rugby matches around ten years ago, though he was a big fan well before that, having watched it on the TV. It is now just about his bestest thing , he thinks Welford Road is a Temple and that a trip to see the Tigers play is a religious experience. He wears an England rugby shirt with the number 8 on the back, homage to his hero Dean Richards who he has met, which was his proudest moment. Deano signed Balloon’s shirt, and we had to use a blowtorch to prise it off the little tinker’s back!

The Bear likes the Pig, but very rarely admits it. He is more likely to demonstrate his affection through a boot up the arse when the Pig isn’t expecting it. The fights that then develop are always explained as “axibumps” with the Bear steadfastly refusing to accept any blame whatsoever.

Originating from Yorkshire, Little Brown is an intelligent, articulate and (mostly) sensible bear. He is very clever and knows everything there is to know about cooking (at least he thinks he does). Can be a little spiky if he is prevented from watching cookery programmes.

In fact cooking is an obsession with this Bear. Cookery programmes on TV especially Gary Rhodes, Jamie Oliver and Keith Floyd are his favourites – and he loves to watch UK TV Food channel all day given half a chance.
Like the Pig and Bear he loves films with shooting, blowing things up etc etc. Needless to say, Steven Seagal in the Under Siege movies is his hero. (“I also cook”). His big plus point is that he can cope with a little more plot in a film than the other three, though we also suspect his greater intelligence makes him the most dangerous of the gang as we suspect he has learnt how to use the TV remote control.

Finally, what can we say about Rodney? A Lincolnshire Rhino, Rodney is a gentle soul who doesn’t know his own strength especially when practising scrumaging with the Pig, Balloon and Little Brown. He is the youngest member of the gang and the most timid. Rodney is devoted to the Pig and has, sadly, been led astray by him to some extent. The Pig often enlists Rodney’s help with surprise attacks on Balloon Bear – these can end in tears. He is always sorry after the event but will do it all over again when the Pig instigates another raid.

Rod loves planes and used to love watching the Red Arrows display team practice from his bedroom window. Rod wears a number 1 on his rugby shirt as he's very much a little prop forward. Like Little Brown though he never leaves the house - well occasionally he peeps his head out of the door if he hears an interesting helicopter.