Tigers Fans wherever they go

The Pig and Bear always like to show they are Leicester Tigers Fans.
Even out in the African Bush - Nottens Bush Camp South Africa 2013



Bears and Bees

Bears like honey and bees make honey - that is bear logic and Bear logic is what drives Balloon.

Once he saw these African bees at a bird bath he was convinced he could "Bee whisper" them into delivering honey to him.

 

 

It didn't work.

It's truly amazing.

Normally they fight like Pig and Bear, but once they reach the Bush Balloon Bear really does take looking after the Pig seriously.

The Bear fears nothing but the Pig is afraid of everything in the African Bush as he believes it is all out to eat him.

There are clearly hidden depths to Balloon.


No doubt he will take it out on the Pig when we get back to the UK.

Balloon Bear loves Safari holidays (unfortunately he forgets he isn't supposed to wave to monkeys as they will steal him and pull his arms and legs off).

This one got off to a flying start with the hotel we stayed at in Jo'burg having a balloon in the back garden.

Followers of the Pig and Bear will be aware that Safari holidays are the Pigs idea of Hell on Earth.

This time we fooled him by having an overnight stop in Jo'burg before heading out into the Bush. The Pig loved it - hotel room with TV, casino nearby (no we didn't let him bet anything!) and manicured gardens.

Sadly it was all to go bad the next day when we flew up to our first camp.

We've all just spent a delightful weekend with friends down in Oxfordshire. Of course Pig and Bear came along, and enjoyed it as much as we did. In particular they liked playing with the toys of our friends little boy.

Spig found a pair of glasses, but threw them away when he realised that a) they were not tinted and b) he looked a walley in them.

Balloon was far happier with a fireman's helmet - this had to be prised off his head.

Balloon Bear went to Dubai at the end of last year accompanying me on business.

What he loved most (in fact the only thing he liked) was looking out of the window on the 33 floor onto what he is convinced was a model city with moving cars and everything. It seems the concept of scale eludes small bears.

Driving us crazy

You've heard of the film "Driving Miss Daisy" - well Balloon Bear does "Driving us Crazy.

Trying to watch a Grand Prix on the TV is a nightmare with this Bear who insists on sitting in front of the TV screen waiting for the in car footage so he can pretend he's driving the Formula One car.

There are of course arms and legs everywhere as he has no idea of clutch, brakes or steering for that matter - in fact he seems to think it all happens merely by rolling from side to side (with the odd jolt forward under hard breaking.

Still it's all better than his joining in with Bond Films....

We had a big "all hands to the pump" emergency yesterday with Balloon Bear.

An airship was spotted in the sky over our village and Bb had to be whisked upstairs to view it from a special perch on the window sill.

Six hours later - long after the airship had gone we remembered he was still up there. We found him on the floor legs in the air - but still smiling.

Thank goodness his attention was still airbourne!

The Pig finally got his wish last week - a holiday that didn't involve anything trying to eat him.

We took them to Cyprus to a wedding (they didn't go to the party - far to high a risk!) so the Pig got to sit on a beach at last.

For years he's been going on about wanting a beach holiday so he can soak up some rays, and he certainly enjoyed his time on a lunger. Balloon, of course wasn't so keen. It seems Bears don't like it too hot - though the idea of catching some fish did appeal.

A kind friend in our village gave us some rhubarb.

Not a problem for most people - indeed it would be regarded as a wonderfully generous gesture. Here however it has caused panic.

Little Brown wants to get it cooked - not just stewed, but some fancy recipe he saw on the TV using it with smoked fish! Now much as we'd love to humour him, we just don't have the fish - so stewing it is. We'd also best get it done before the inevitable LB tantrum which will end up with the rhubarb being used as a weapon.

It's also a bit worrying to see Little Brown's reading coming along - OK we called up the web site, but it looks as though he can recognise the word "fish".

I see trouble ahead. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.








By the way here's the recipe
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/hotsmokedsalmonwithr_91054

Trying to watch a film on TV can be a frustrating way to pass a few hours here.

Pigs, Bears and Rodneys seem totally incapable of sitting quietly whilst watching any film. They are either living every moment, in the case of action films they like, or finding other ways to create havoc in the case of films they don't.

Take yesterday for example - the film had clearly lost their interest (possibly as it had subtitles) - so all hell broke loose as Balloon Bear threw something at the Pig, who retaliated with a throw back which hit Rodney who thought it was Little Brown so he threw something at him, who in a fit of pique threw something back which hit Balloon Bear's "Doggy" which started the mother of all rucks (a free for all tusstle for none Rugby speakers).

Now you try concentrating on a film with this all going on around you on the sofa. We've tried the lot - threats to send them upstairs, burying them under cushions, no TV warnings - but nothing seems to get through. Guess watching TV in this household just has to be seen as an occupational hazard of being guardian to a Pig, Two Bears and a Rodney.

It's been a good couple of days for Bears.

First we celebrated balloon Bear's birthday. In fact we were a week or so late, but the beauty of dealing with Pigs, Bears and Rodneys is none of them have a clue about days of the week, let alone dates in the year. They only know it's their birthday when we walk in with the cake singing "Happy Birthday".

Balloon was delighted - though a little disappointed we hadn't got him the huge gun he wants as a present.

Then yesterday it was Little Brown's turn for a treat - Steven Seagal in "Under Siege" on the TV. We were about to head off to bed when a little channel hopping stumbled across his all time favourite film.

LB knows every line and enacts the film scene by scene as Steven Seagal slots bad guys left right and centre. His "bestest bit" is the line "I also cook" - class!

The only downside is The Pig and Rod now want something - every day is a challenge with animals as needy as these!

One solution the Pig tried to protect himself from all the things out to eat him in Africa was the old Tortoise shell ploy.

Unfortunately this didn't work as
a) Kapamba Bush Camp might have been a little naffed off if we had taken the shell
b) It wouldn't fit in the bag
c) He heard a graphic description by Gilbert, our wonderful guide, of how big cats get at the meat of a tortoise.

The Pig is now thinking "guns - lots of guns".

The problem with taking Balloon Bear and the Pig on Holiday is they do so much like having their picture taken.

Staying at some lovely lodges we were lucky to have some great locations for pictures - so good even the Pig came out of hiding to have his "pictumumer " taken.

Here's one of the Pig and Bear with a sculpture of a Wild dog - one of the Bear's favourite animals.

The Pig had to be persuaded it wasn't a real doggy before he'd sit with it.

Balloon's penchant for stupidity shows itself yet again as he poses on a carving of a Buffelant - a rare cross between an Elephant and a Buffalo.

He now fancies a career as either a rodeo rider or a mahout.

Only in a room did the Pig feel any where near relatively safe - and only then because we tell him that mosquito nets are magic and can stop any predator that might be interested in eating him.

Of course this ruse started to leak when we discovered a couple of snakes in the room and became very cautious of getting in and out of bed in the dark - the Pig couldn't work out why we didn't trust the mossy net to scare away anything nasty!

As you can see BB doesn't worry about huge animals with bit pointy teeth - on the contrary he thinks they are all his friends and waves to everything.

We saw these lions in South Luangua national park in Zambia and were it not for the fact we were already searching our luggage for frogs Balloon was trying to bring home as pets we've no doubt he would have hatched some sort of plan to bring a lion home with him as a pet.

And so the trauma is over for another year.....

We've just returned from holiday in Zambia, a wonderful country with fantastic people - but African holidays are full of angst.

First of all there's the leaving home bit. Rodney and Little Brown clearly get upset at being left out, but as they won't leave the house there's little we can do other than tuck them up in bed and leave them the remote control for the telly.

Once we're away Balloon Bear isn't a problem - he loves watching wildlife (though he will insist on waving to monkeys despite warnings they will come and kidnap him and pull off all his armies and leggies!).

It's the Pig who gets the heebee geebies about holidays in Africa. He thinks everything is out to eat him and is very cautious of coming out of the bag. Normally he can't wait to have his picture taken, but on these holidays he burrows as far down in the day bag as possible. His paranoia even has him taking sides with the Bear who for ten days at kleast is his bestest buddy in the whole wide world (arse kicking returns as soon as he lands at Heathrow).

How pleased was the Pig to be back in front of his own TV, telling Rodney and Little Brown how brave he was faced with a roaring Lion charging out of the bush on the back of a rabid Elephant supported by robot dragons and giant man eating snakes.

We'll post some of the pics of the Pig and Bear in Zambia (more of the Bear obviously) shortly.

Well, the dirty (or rather undirty) deed has been done.

They've just had their annual (well almost) wash, and three days on they are just about talking to us. At least this time we have protected their modesty a little and have not posted pictures of them huddled up to a radiator drying out.

It's an exercise of almost military precision when they go in the washy-machine. First we grab Balloon as he's most likely to alert the others - off with his shirt and into a pillow case - then grab the Pig - ignore squeeling and wriggling , off with grubby shirt and into the bag, next Little Brown - he can't move as fast as the others (being a bit of a traditional Rugby Prop build if you know what I mean) , so it's an easy catch, shirt off and into the bag - then Rod, who is doing the happy dance because he thinks the wash is a flume ride at a fair ground, he jumps in the bag on his own once his shirt is taken off.

Then it's into the machine and time to turn the TV up so we can't hear the complaints from three and bubbly laughter from Rodney.

Once out it's time to face the music - they're not happy - even Rod looks rather glum as the fun seems to have worn off somewhat.

In the meantime it's new shirts for them all - this means a couple of hours sewing up shirts of different sizes and adding numbers and roses to them - finally we have four clean smeling and smart looking animals in England Rugby shirts again. It won't be long until they are in a state once more, but until then they are at least semi presentable.



Just as well the Pig hasn't figured out the clean up was all in preparation for going on holiday to Africa again................ May won't be his best month.

Serious trouble in the household this morning.

At some point in the night Little Brown has decided to make a deep incursion into the Pig's space between the pillows in bed - leading with his backside.

The Pig was squashed up against the bed head this morning and I can see the prospect of some major league pay-back some time later today.

The Pig was already in a bad mood before he even went to bed last night because Balloon Bear won another "Who done it" when we all sat and watched a Midsomer Murders. It's uncanny how one so dumb can get it right so often. To make matters worse the suspect the Pig chose ended up being the third victim - he was madder than a mad thing on mad day with a bag of mad to hand out to passers by.

Perhaps a trip to the shops might cheer him, up....

The problem with burrowing in bed has raised its ugly head again.

Everyone has their place and there's a place for everyone. An easy enough concept you'd think, but not for Rodney and Little Brown who still insist on making incursions into the Pig's sleeping place between the pillows.

It infuriates the Pig, making him madder than a mad thing on international mad day. When they do burrow in to his "lair" the effect lasts all of the following day with the Pig launching attacks at every opportunity as payback for his comfort being destroyed.


The problem is this isn't an easy habit to break. In Rodney's case we think he burrows just to be close to the Pig, and in Little Brown's case he does it for the devilment and doesn't care what we say or what the Pig does to retaliate. As far as he's concerned it's all good sport.

The one surprising glimmer of positivity here is Balloon Bear. BB doesn't burrow ever. I'd like to say it's because he has some sense of the hurt it causes the Pig, but the truth is it's because he's busy at work hugging. Thank goodness he's a professional.