The Pig and Bear

Driving us crazy

2011-10-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

You've heard of the film "Driving Miss Daisy" - well Balloon Bear does "Driving us Crazy.

Trying to watch a Grand Prix on the TV is a nightmare with this Bear who insists on sitting in front of the TV screen waiting for the in car footage so he can pretend he's driving the Formula One car.

There are of course arms and legs everywhere as he has no idea of clutch, brakes or steering for that matter - in fact he seems to think it all happens merely by rolling from side to side (with the odd jolt forward under hard breaking.

Still it's all better than his joining in with Bond Films....

2011-09-28T05:44:00.000-07:00

We had a big "all hands to the pump" emergency yesterday with Balloon Bear.

An airship was spotted in the sky over our village and Bb had to be whisked upstairs to view it from a special perch on the window sill.

Six hours later - long after the airship had gone we remembered he was still up there. We found him on the floor legs in the air - but still smiling.

Thank goodness his attention was still airbourne!

2011-09-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

The Pig finally got his wish last week - a holiday that didn't involve anything trying to eat him.

We took them to Cyprus to a wedding (they didn't go to the party - far to high a risk!) so the Pig got to sit on a beach at last.

For years he's been going on about wanting a beach holiday so he can soak up some rays, and he certainly enjoyed his time on a lunger. Balloon, of course wasn't so keen. It seems Bears don't like it too hot - though the idea of catching some fish did appeal.

2011-08-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

A kind friend in our village gave us some rhubarb.

Not a problem for most people - indeed it would be regarded as a wonderfully generous gesture. Here however it has caused panic.

Little Brown wants to get it cooked - not just stewed, but some fancy recipe he saw on the TV using it with smoked fish! Now much as we'd love to humour him, we just don't have the fish - so stewing it is. We'd also best get it done before the inevitable LB tantrum which will end up with the rhubarb being used as a weapon.

It's also a bit worrying to see Little Brown's reading coming along - OK we called up the web site, but it looks as though he can recognise the word "fish".

I see trouble ahead. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

By the way here's the recipe
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/hotsmokedsalmonwithr_91054

2011-07-17T03:51:00.000-07:00

Trying to watch a film on TV can be a frustrating way to pass a few hours here.

Pigs, Bears and Rodneys seem totally incapable of sitting quietly whilst watching any film. They are either living every moment, in the case of action films they like, or finding other ways to create havoc in the case of films they don't.

Take yesterday for example - the film had clearly lost their interest (possibly as it had subtitles) - so all hell broke loose as Balloon Bear threw something at the Pig, who retaliated with a throw back which hit Rodney who thought it was Little Brown so he threw something at him, who in a fit of pique threw something back which hit Balloon Bear's "Doggy" which started the mother of all rucks (a free for all tusstle for none Rugby speakers).

Now you try concentrating on a film with this all going on around you on the sofa. We've tried the lot - threats to send them upstairs, burying them under cushions, no TV warnings - but nothing seems to get through. Guess watching TV in this household just has to be seen as an occupational hazard of being guardian to a Pig, Two Bears and a Rodney.

2011-06-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a good couple of days for Bears.

First we celebrated balloon Bear's birthday. In fact we were a week or so late, but the beauty of dealing with Pigs, Bears and Rodneys is none of them have a clue about days of the week, let alone dates in the year. They only know it's their birthday when we walk in with the cake singing "Happy Birthday".

Balloon was delighted - though a little disappointed we hadn't got him the huge gun he wants as a present.

Then yesterday it was Little Brown's turn for a treat - Steven Seagal in "Under Siege" on the TV. We were about to head off to bed when a little channel hopping stumbled across his all time favourite film.

LB knows every line and enacts the film scene by scene as Steven Seagal slots bad guys left right and centre. His "bestest bit" is the line "I also cook" - class!

The only downside is The Pig and Rod now want something - every day is a challenge with animals as needy as these!

2011-06-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

One solution the Pig tried to protect himself from all the things out to eat him in Africa was the old Tortoise shell ploy.

Unfortunately this didn't work as
a) Kapamba Bush Camp might have been a little naffed off if we had taken the shell
b) It wouldn't fit in the bag
c) He heard a graphic description by Gilbert, our wonderful guide, of how big cats get at the meat of a tortoise.

The Pig is now thinking "guns - lots of guns".

2011-06-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

The problem with taking Balloon Bear and the Pig on Holiday is they do so much like having their picture taken.

Staying at some lovely lodges we were lucky to have some great locations for pictures - so good even the Pig came out of hiding to have his "pictumumer " taken.

Here's one of the Pig and Bear with a sculpture of a Wild dog - one of the Bear's favourite animals.

The Pig had to be persuaded it wasn't a real doggy before he'd sit with it.

Balloon's penchant for stupidity shows itself yet again as he poses on a carving of a Buffelant - a rare cross between an Elephant and a Buffalo.

He now fancies a career as either a rodeo rider or a mahout.

Only in a room did the Pig feel any where near relatively safe - and only then because we tell him that mosquito nets are magic and can stop any predator that might be interested in eating him.

Of course this ruse started to leak when we discovered a couple of snakes in the room and became very cautious of getting in and out of bed in the dark - the Pig couldn't work out why we didn't trust the mossy net to scare away anything nasty!

2011-06-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

As you can see BB doesn't worry about huge animals with bit pointy teeth - on the contrary he thinks they are all his friends and waves to everything.

We saw these lions in South Luangua national park in Zambia and were it not for the fact we were already searching our luggage for frogs Balloon was trying to bring home as pets we've no doubt he would have hatched some sort of plan to bring a lion home with him as a pet.

2011-05-31T01:01:00.000-07:00

And so the trauma is over for another year.....

We've just returned from holiday in Zambia, a wonderful country with fantastic people - but African holidays are full of angst.

First of all there's the leaving home bit. Rodney and Little Brown clearly get upset at being left out, but as they won't leave the house there's little we can do other than tuck them up in bed and leave them the remote control for the telly.

Once we're away Balloon Bear isn't a problem - he loves watching wildlife (though he will insist on waving to monkeys despite warnings they will come and kidnap him and pull off all his armies and leggies!).

It's the Pig who gets the heebee geebies about holidays in Africa. He thinks everything is out to eat him and is very cautious of coming out of the bag. Normally he can't wait to have his picture taken, but on these holidays he burrows as far down in the day bag as possible. His paranoia even has him taking sides with the Bear who for ten days at kleast is his bestest buddy in the whole wide world (arse kicking returns as soon as he lands at Heathrow).

How pleased was the Pig to be back in front of his own TV, telling Rodney and Little Brown how brave he was faced with a roaring Lion charging out of the bush on the back of a rabid Elephant supported by robot dragons and giant man eating snakes.

We'll post some of the pics of the Pig and Bear in Zambia (more of the Bear obviously) shortly.

2011-05-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

Well, the dirty (or rather undirty) deed has been done.

They've just had their annual (well almost) wash, and three days on they are just about talking to us. At least this time we have protected their modesty a little and have not posted pictures of them huddled up to a radiator drying out.

It's an exercise of almost military precision when they go in the washy-machine. First we grab Balloon as he's most likely to alert the others - off with his shirt and into a pillow case - then grab the Pig - ignore squeeling and wriggling , off with grubby shirt and into the bag, next Little Brown - he can't move as fast as the others (being a bit of a traditional Rugby Prop build if you know what I mean) , so it's an easy catch, shirt off and into the bag - then Rod, who is doing the happy dance because he thinks the wash is a flume ride at a fair ground, he jumps in the bag on his own once his shirt is taken off.

Then it's into the machine and time to turn the TV up so we can't hear the complaints from three and bubbly laughter from Rodney.

Once out it's time to face the music - they're not happy - even Rod looks rather glum as the fun seems to have worn off somewhat.

In the meantime it's new shirts for them all - this means a couple of hours sewing up shirts of different sizes and adding numbers and roses to them - finally we have four clean smeling and smart looking animals in England Rugby shirts again. It won't be long until they are in a state once more, but until then they are at least semi presentable.

Just as well the Pig hasn't figured out the clean up was all in preparation for going on holiday to Africa again................ May won't be his best month.

2011-04-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

Serious trouble in the household this morning.

At some point in the night Little Brown has decided to make a deep incursion into the Pig's space between the pillows in bed - leading with his backside.

The Pig was squashed up against the bed head this morning and I can see the prospect of some major league pay-back some time later today.

The Pig was already in a bad mood before he even went to bed last night because Balloon Bear won another "Who done it" when we all sat and watched a Midsomer Murders. It's uncanny how one so dumb can get it right so often. To make matters worse the suspect the Pig chose ended up being the third victim - he was madder than a mad thing on mad day with a bag of mad to hand out to passers by.

Perhaps a trip to the shops might cheer him, up....

2011-03-18T03:54:00.000-07:00

The problem with burrowing in bed has raised its ugly head again.

Everyone has their place and there's a place for everyone. An easy enough concept you'd think, but not for Rodney and Little Brown who still insist on making incursions into the Pig's sleeping place between the pillows.

It infuriates the Pig, making him madder than a mad thing on international mad day. When they do burrow in to his "lair" the effect lasts all of the following day with the Pig launching attacks at every opportunity as payback for his comfort being destroyed.

The problem is this isn't an easy habit to break. In Rodney's case we think he burrows just to be close to the Pig, and in Little Brown's case he does it for the devilment and doesn't care what we say or what the Pig does to retaliate. As far as he's concerned it's all good sport.

The one surprising glimmer of positivity here is Balloon Bear. BB doesn't burrow ever. I'd like to say it's because he has some sense of the hurt it causes the Pig, but the truth is it's because he's busy at work hugging. Thank goodness he's a professional.

2011-03-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

Some might say we spoil the Pig and Bear.

They've just been down to Twickenham again this weekend to see England play scotland. Needless to say the victory was appreciated by both. A strange occurance before the game though - a fox on the pich! Balloon wanted to take it home as a pet of course.

The dreadful news from Japan has affected all four of them. The top of the back of the sofa has been a popular place to sit all of a sudden.

The Pig was the first to react to the news reports, taking to the high ground, followed quickly by Rod, then the two bears. No matter how much we tell them Japan is an awfully long way away and that there are no Tsunamis in North Leicestershire they're taking no chances.

The Pig's fears may come home to roost though as Rodney will probably burrow his way into the Pigs sleeping spot tonight again seeking security.

2011-03-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Little Brown

(Just hope he doesn't find out we didn't bake the cake ourselves!)

2011-02-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

WoW!!!

What a weekend the Pig and Bear have just had.

They've been to Twickenham to see England play Italy in the six nations and then on to Leeds to see Leicester Tigers play Leeds.

It all started early on Saturday morning when they were driven down to London. This in itself was a treat for two reasons. First the very generous chap who was taking us all out for the day has a very nice Mercedes. The Pig and the Bear aren't really into cars (unless of course it's a big truck with tinted windows etc in the case of the Pig or a formula one car in the case of the Bear) but in this case they made an exception as the car had Tvs in the back of the seats for the passengers in the back to watch.

Sorry the photo of them watching TV is a bit blurry - the car was moving and they were wriggling quite a lot.

The next highlight was witnessing a bit of serious road rage on London's North Circular. We were driving along when we had to pull out to get past two cars rather badly pulled over in the inside lane - sniffing an "axibump" the Pig was on full alert. We didn't see any damage to the vehicles but we did see one fella punch the other - who quickly bounced off the floor to his feet to commence the fight back - as we disappeared off up the road we left them slugging it out.

Needless to say had we been going anywhere else other than Twickenham the Pig would have made much more of a fuss about either stopping or turning around to get a better view.

So on to better things - Twickenham where 15 fellas slug it out with 15 other fellas.

Here's the Pig outside the stadium.

Twickenham has to be their next favourite place after Welford Road (home of the Leicester Tigers). The Pig was particularly taken with the pre-match show involving abseiling marines, whilst Balloon was interested to see what would happen if one of the ropes broke.

Balloon of course had to be kept well under control. We don't let him drink beer for obvious reasons - but that doesn't stop him trying.

You can see how he had to be grabbed by both legs to stop him taking a swig!

So Pigs and Bears were finally got under control and England went on to achieve a fine victory over Italy (though the boys were upset that Italian prop Martin Castrogiovani who plays for Tigers got a yellow card for being naughty).

The following day their weekend was made complete with a trip to Leeds to see Tigers play Leeds in the league. This wasn't so much fun as it was absolutely persisting down with rain - and Pigs and Bears don't like getting wet, so they had to spend most of the game well trussed up in a ruck-sack. Even so you could still here them cheering Tigers on. Nice to know they do somethings without falling out.

Their stories about cars with TVs, road rage punch ups, Twickenham and Leeds certainly made Little Brown and Rodney very envious - but sadly not quite enough to encourage them to leave the house next time.

2011-02-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

Another "who-dunnit?" - this time Lewis set in Oxford.

Balloon Bear didn't get the murderer, but he did identify both murder victims before they "got the good news".

As no-one else identified the killer BB decided this was something of a triumph

2011-02-08T01:49:00.000-08:00

We suspect Balloon Bear may have been moonlighting as a model for one of the Daily Telegraph's cartoonists...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/cartoon/?cartoon=8304101&cc=8306265

2011-02-06T03:46:00.000-08:00

Last week saw the last episode of Midsomer Murders, a TV who-dunnit which has been the source of much enjoyment and angst amongst the boys over the years.

It all started some time ago when we were all sat watching an episode. Before the opening credits had even finished (always a waste of time for Pigs and Bears who can't read them anyway) Balloon Bear pointed at a character on the TV saying "he did it". Annoyingly it turned out he was right.

From then on every episode became a competition to see who could identify the murderer - the Pig, two Bears and Rodney all trying to super sleuth their way to success.

In fact it clearly had more to do with petty prejudices and sheer luck than any detective work - indeed we had to introduce a rule of no accusations until there had been a murder after some nasty scenes when accused characters became the first victim thus ruling the accusing Bear, Pig or Rhino out of the competition.

So the rules are (for those of you who may want to play in the future) - no accusations until there has been a murder - all accusations to be made within a half hour of the first murder - no taking account of any plot / clues / or form whatsoever (though there have been a number of occasions when the Pig has identified the Policeman as the killer which really doesn't work so we had to introduce a sub clause into the rules to allow him to take advice on this and change his call) - no changing your call once you have made an accusation and no changing should your accused become the (inevitable) second victim.

The fun is straight after the first "Mudder" when there is a flurry of pointing and gestures from the boys indicating who they know for sure has done it (yes, yes, yes - at least three and often four of them are disappointed come the end of the programme). They each spend the rest of the show up until the arrest (and sometimes after) going nuts every time their accused appears.

So - last week was the last ever Midsomer Murder (or was it?????). Balloon quickly made his call (as so often it's usually the first character he sees after the murder) - and uncannily he was right again. His triumph made all the more sweet by the fact the Pig's accused was the second murder victim (much happy dancing and taunting to that as you might guess).

He even made me take a picture of him in front of the TV as the murderer was led away.

You might want to turn away now in case you don't want to know who did it...

2011-01-31T02:57:00.000-08:00

Balloon Bear had a very nice surprise on Saturday - a hot air balloon nearly landed in the fields opposite the house.

What a flap though - we had to rush him upstairs to the window with the best view, and then there was no moving him for hours afterwards in case it came back (despite being obsessed with balloons he still hasn't figured out they don't choose where to go they get blown by the wind).

Later in the afternoon the Pig, Bears and Rodney sat down to watch the rugby on TV - England A playing Italy A in which a couple of their Leicester Tigers heroes were playing. You'd hope it would tire them out a little but no - they are as much trouble as ever, though at least the in fighting does get put on hold when they're all watching the same team play

2011-01-20T01:37:00.000-08:00

We have Bear problems...........

There's a programme on TV at the moment in which Michele Roux takes a group of young people and trys to teach them how to serve in a restaurant. It's a bit like "The Apprentice" for waiters.

Little Brown was unbearable (see what I did then ...) last night wanting to sack various contestants, and being powerless to do so taking it out on Pigs, Rodneys and other Bears who happened to be sitting within striking distance.

Balloon in particular received a nasty boot accross the living room, so severe in fact we had to step in and issue a full public warning to Little Brown. He's now under double secret probation - one more cheffy outburst and it's no cooking TV of any sort.

Of course he'll play dumb and pretend he has forgetten when he next loses it - or blame it on one of the others for doing a "Pooing" mime whenever there's melted chocolate shown in a recipe on TV. But last night he went too far - and he won't get away with it again.

Until next time.....

2011-01-11T07:04:00.000-08:00

It's early days yet, but the Pig and Bear have launched a web site (OK they don't actually do any of it themselves as the Pig's trotters and Bear's paws are way to chuncky for a keyboard and , of course niether of them can read or write anyway - so we have to do it for them).

As yet we haven't bought a short form address for them, but you can see what we're doing here http://balloon.giving.officelive.com/default.aspx

2011-01-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

A while ago whilst out cycling I spotted a small dog - one of those give away animals Mc Donalds were giving away with burgers - thrown away lying at the roadside. I stopped and picked it up straight away as I knew exactly who would appreciate it.

Balloon Bear has always wanted a pet ( in fact every animal he sees on TV he wants as a pet) so I thought this would do the trick.

As it is he's now infatuated with his "Doggie" though he does sometimes need reminding that he has to look after it, and it does get neglected when BB is watching an action film or rugby.

2011-01-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

2011 has started particularly well for Balloon Bear.

There has been a week of James Bond films on TV followed late at night by the last Test Match in the Ashes series between Australia and England. Now BB likes his cricket - he bats bowls catches every ball and loves to see Aussies getting beaten.

Last night Balloon Bear was singing with the best of the Barmy Army, the crazy group of travelling England fans who go to watch the team play all over the world - but especially Australia. His favourite song is the one which ends by repeating "Barmy Army" again and again - though he changes it to "Barmy Balloon Bear". Rather apt really.

Meanwhile last night was 12th night, so the Christmas tree came down. Rodney spent most of yesterday sat underneath it hoping to delay the inevitable, but we eventually managed to pack all the Christmas stuff away without further protests. We do suspect however that he has stashed some baubles away here and there and he definitely has a piece of tinsel pushed up his jumper.

2009-09-14T07:52:00.000-07:00

Balloon seems to have had some trouble understanding that Rodney is a Lincolnshire Rhino and therefore a fair bit smaller than his African cousins. The Pig meanwhile refused to get out of the bag in case wild Rhino eat small pigs.

2009-09-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Okay..... it's been a while since they featured in the blog. I'd like to say they have been deep deep undercover, but the truth is blogging for a Pig and a bear can be tiresome.

Anyhoo - they've just got back from a trip to South Africa. Now the bear loves seeing all the animals, but the Pig is sure something is going to eat him. Every year he gets worse.

Still at least they found a friend this year, a French / German duck. Who said the entente cordial is dead?

2006-12-26T04:21:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas
from Balloon Bear, The Pig, little brown and rodney.

2006-12-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

Whilst we were in Munich we heard the news that the England Rugby team coach, Andy Robinson had finally gone (hip-hooray!).

The Pig and Bear (not Robinson's greatest fans after a string of humiliating defeats) decided to explore a coal mine in search of somewhere dark and inaccessable where the former coaches remaining career could be safely stored.

Balloon Bear was of course delighted to find a little train to sit on.

2006-12-05T12:04:00.000-08:00

Balloon like any form of transport. It started with "boop boops" (trains), but now extends to any form of getting somewhere. He therefore loved going on the trams in Munich, waving (as you will know one of his other areas of expertise) to anyone and everyone.

The inhabitants of Munich must really like Bears, as no-one batted an eye!

2006-12-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Even on a chilly Munich street the pig will always come out for a photo with a "relative".

2006-12-05T11:59:00.000-08:00

We suspect the Pig might have a drink problem.

2006-12-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

Whilst in the museum the boys found loads of things to do - here Balloon found a model balloon which took off when you pressed a button. He may need a little work on his paws now as they were red raw from pressing.

Still it kept him occupied and out of trouble for a while.

2006-12-05T11:53:00.000-08:00

We took Balloon Bear and the Pig on holiday last week to munich in germany. There's a great museum there with loads of buttens to press - sadly we couldn't find the button to set off this ejector seat exhibit!

2006-11-20T03:26:00.000-08:00

Balloon had a really good day on Saturday.

First he went to welford Road, that sacred spot where Leicester Tigers play, to see us up against London Irish. Balloon was delighted to see us beat them 26 - 18 (of course Balloon doesn't know exactly how many points we score, just that we had more than the opposition).

Hi day was really topped off though by the trip to the cinema to see Casino Royale. Balloon Bear is just about the world's biggest james Bond bear fan. We had to keep it a secret until the last few moments before the film started as there would have been no holding him.

As it was he sat all the way through in the cinema twitching with excitment every time JB belted someone or shot at a bad guy. Balloon's been walking, turning and shooting to the music ever since. Still it keeps him mout of trouble - almost.

2006-10-28T06:09:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since we posted anything, and now when we do it's not the best of news.

The boys had to go in the wash today. Balloon Bear had got quite smelly and it was clearly time for a dunk. The Bears and the Pig hate going in the washy machine. Rod on the other hand thinks it's great - something like the rhino version of white water rafting at the fair ground.

As you can see from the pic they are pretty down cast after their wash - though they do smell a good deal better.

2006-09-27T12:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry, haven't blogged for a while. Today is special though, the Pig's somethingth birthday - possibly his 17th. We're not telling him he's old enough to drive though!

2006-08-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

Here's one we couldn't resist from a skiing holiday at Killington in the States.

2006-08-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

The Pig always has to say hello to his bigger cousins.

When we're driving we have to squeel "Piggieeees!!" at the top of our voices when we see pigs in a field.

2006-08-20T05:05:00.000-07:00

The Pig and Bear like the sea side. The Pig likes to chill and catch a few rays. The Bear likes to get near the water and do what Bears do - catch fish.

Sadly for Balloon, he's not realised that even tiddlers would be a big catch for him and as he's only ever seen things like sharks on TV (and they look small on the tele) that evn they are easy game, in short he always claims he will catch and eat evey fish in the sea.

When he does this his little arms start to grasp air desperately in preparation for the big one which he thinks lies just under the surface of evey bit of water. He even thinks fish live in the bath.

2006-08-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Whilst trucks in Africa excite the Pig it was nothing compared to when they got near a real gun on safari.

We had to stop little trotters and paws from searching for the trigger.

2006-08-20T04:51:00.000-07:00

When we took the Pig and Bear to africa a few years ago on safari they liked the idea of big trucks. In fact the safari vehicles are the only plus point for the Pig.

2006-07-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

The boys as we call them had a bit of a treat last night.
We'd been out, and got home at almost 11pm, I switched the TV on, (to much hurumphing from a pig a rhino and two bears who can't understand why we don't leave it on for them - it's not the waste of electricity it's to stop the arguing over who thinks they know hoew to change channels), to find James Bond - The Man with the Golden Gun.
Well - you can imagine the joy on four little faces, especially Balloon Bear who is the world's number one 007 fan.

For the first 10 minutes all the bear could do was the walk, turn, shoot bit from the start. The he spends the rest of the movie wriggling in time to the action, aiming kicks and punches to mid air and making shooting noises when the gunfire starts. Thank goodess it wasn't the one with the car with the ejector seat - it took us ages to find where he'd kicked the Pig last time it was on.

Other than that it's jolly hot in the UK at the moment which is quite tough on a working bear. The problem is he can't hug properly at night as he just sucks in any sweat and starts to smell. No problem for him of course (he thinks it makes him more like his rugby idol Martin Corry from Leicester Tigers at the end of a game) but it is for us - and untimately him as he has to go in the wash. Of course didactic thinking like that is way beyond Balloon Bear's mind.

maybe he'll get it on the third rinse. Then again......................

2006-07-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a bad week for Bears. Balloon went down to London, which was fun as he got to go on the train, but then he had to spend three days in a row in a bag in the hotel room.
You see the trouble is you can't leave him out as he'd just play with the TV buttons and scare the maids, and you can't take him to work as he'd just run amoke trying to make friends at the meetings (not very business like).
So it was three days in a bag. He did get to watch TV in the evenings - and even lucked in as one night Channel five was showing Judge Dread (Balloon thinks he is the law too), but otherwise he's had a pretty poor week. To finish off his week he managed to get something green on his head on the way home and he could end up in the washy machine. If he does then they all go in which will make him about as popular as a kick up the pants.

The Pig in contrast has had a decent week with Jane going to work as usual and catching a few rays in the car as they travel about. His shirt needs sorting out though as he looks a real rag-a-muffin. If we can tear it off his back sewing up a new one might be one of this week's jobs.

2006-07-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

We took the Pig and Bear on Holiday last week -Three days in cornwall at a little seaside town called St Ives.
Now as well as being famed as a beuty spot St Ives also has loads of sea gulls. Of course BB wanted one as a pet as soon as he arrived. Mind you he did almost change his mind when they woke him up at dawn the first morning squaking away outsdie the bedroom window.

Any way, Cornwall used to be known for its tin mines and we visited one just along the coast from St Ives which is now a museum. The Pig and Balloon Bear just had to try their hand (paw/trotter) at driving a mine digger.

Thank goodness we didn't take them down to the harbour when the fishing boats were being unloaded. The Bear would have been in the boxes grabbing fish for all he's worth.

2006-07-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

Despite being a very sporty Bear balloon hasn't really got into the World Cup - too much crying and faking fouls for his liking. He is quite keen to have telivised rugby matches pitching soccer players against rugby players.

Still if he'd been a Roman bear he'd have spent all his money down at the Colleseum every weekend.

That said he was sad when England went out - even though he thought they should have scored points when the ball went over the crossbar.

2006-06-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

The Bear doesn't read too well either.

He thought the sign said Balloon Bear. Oh how we laughed.

2006-06-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

This is one of the Pig's greatest moments, when he had his shirt signed by his all time hero, Richard Cockerill (AKA Cockers or Cocky) who was hooker for Liecester Tigers and now a coach.

2006-06-25T05:16:00.000-07:00

On his first trip to Africa the Pig was quite brave - but being quite young he didn't understand about things eating other things. You'd never get him stood out in the open like this now (the Wuss!!).

2006-06-25T05:10:00.000-07:00

Whilst Rodney and Little Brown NEVER go out of the house, the Pig and Balloon Bear are inveterate travellers and have been to some really exciting places with us. Here is the Pig at Nanyuki in Kenya right on the Equator.

2006-06-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

This is a really early one of the Pig and Bear. When they were young they ran around naked all the time. You can see how balloon has lost some weight and how pink the Pig was way back then.

When we first made the rugby shirts for them it was for match days only, but as they do help keep them clean we let them wear them all the time now.

2006-06-25T04:57:00.000-07:00

This is the first photo we have of the Pig taken when we took him on holiday for the first time. This was in fact the holiday we took pity on him living in the car one night as it was thundering (and he was quite little then) and brought him into the cottage we had rented. He's never been on his own since!

Whilst this photo suggests he is reading the map, the truth is he's just looking at the colours. He claims he can read, but this is patently not true - he thinks words printed in large type are more difficult to read as they are bigger words than words on small type, no matter how many letters.

2006-06-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

Peace at last, something good on telly for them.

2006-06-25T04:37:00.000-07:00

The Pig's been in a bad mood today. You see cylists have been going past the house, and the Pig absolutely , positively, completely hates them. Worst of all are groups of cyclists racing - we don't know why, but he gets into a real monk about them.

We suspect it might be the lycra shorts and garish colours they wear, what evever, it has his ears back and snout twitching.

Naturally Balloon Bear, lover of all things sporty, likes to see them and insists on making a cycling movement himself. The end result as you can guess is a falling out with the Pig taking it as a personal slight that the Bear is "cycling" in his house.

Rodney and Little brown don't get involved in this one. As the cyclists are outside they not part of their world - neither of them lever leave the house. Just as well , with two of them already fighting, we don't want a little bike race to start a full blown riot!

2006-06-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

We've had a couple of dodgy days with Rod recently. It's been hot and sticky and there's been the odd rumble of thunder at the end of the day - poor Rod hates thunder and lightning, and whilst Ballon Bear and the Pig are revelling in every clap of thunder and flash of lightning Rod is under the cushions on the sofa.

No matter what we do we can't make him come out - even the Pig can't pursuade him - and Rod usually does whatever the Pig says no matter how stupid.

The one thing he has taken to (not during storms of course) is sliding down the bannisters. Rod's just the right shape for it. Ballon Bear of course tries to get in on the act but being the wrong shape for bannister sliding he usually falls straight off and tumbles down the stairs in a most undignified manner.

2006-06-01T15:39:00.000-07:00

They'd hate to admit it, but they do get on quite well sometimes.

2006-06-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Of course the one thing Balloon Bear likes above everything else is ........ yes you guessed it.

2006-06-01T15:28:00.000-07:00

Here's Balloon at one of his pilgimage spots - Twickenham. This was a particularly good day in Bear terms as he saw England beat Australia.

The Bear still believes he is Dean Richards and insists on having a number 8 on the back of his jersey.

His other favoritist place is of course Welford Road, home of Leicester tigers. If Balloon wasn't a bear he'd probably be a tiger - mind you he'd also probably be Wesley Snipes in that film where he catches the baddies by jumping out of a plane or Bruce Willis in any of the Die Hard movies, or James Bond (except Timothy Dalton) - or quite a number of other things. He likes rugby best though.

2006-06-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

The Pig loves nur nurs (anything with a siren). When we visited one of our bestest friends a while ago the Pig was overjoyed to find their little boy had a fire engine. Prising Spig out of the cab nearly called for a real fire crew!

2006-05-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

The Pig and Balloon Bear are going to stay on a farm this weekend belonging to one of our relatives. The Pig loves the view from the bedroom window - lots of cow muck. Keeping him under control is a nightmare - every second he's trying to get himself into the muck!

Balloon is a lot less keen, unless of course it's one of those weekends when balloonists are flying - then he too is in the window watching his favorite things float by.

2006-05-25T05:01:00.000-07:00

You know, Pigs, Bears and small Rhino have their problems.

Burrowing is a big one.

The Pig always sleeps between the pillows in our bed - it's his place where he can feel safe, comfortable and it's supposed to be just for him. Rod, Little Brown and Balloon Bear all sleep in the main part of the bed.

The trouble is, Rodney likes to try and join the Pig in the night, burrowing his way between the pillows. Little Brown's not much better either as he's also known to dig his way in. In Rod's case it's probably as he loves the Pig and likes to be with him, Little Browns motives are probably not a clear cut - the fun of annoyance is probably his main motive.

This morning we awoke to Rod with his face well and truly embedded into the pigs space - needless to say there was a lot of chuntering from Spig - he hates having to fight off invaders into his spot overnight. His first action of the day when Rod burrows is usually to administer a big kick to his posterior - this morning was no different.

Hopefully they'll be back to normal by this evening, but when I left for work this morning they were sat at either end of the sofa not talking to each other.

Balloon Bear is the only one who could be said to be genuinely innocent - he can't burrow at night as he's busy doing what Bears do for a living - hugging. Still I guess if he had half a chance he'd contribute to the mayhem and stick his furry paws into the Pigs sleeping place too!

2006-05-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

Balloon Bear is always more relaxed about having his photo taken in Africa.

2006-05-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

The Pig takes some persuading to pose for photos in Africa.

2006-05-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Balloon Bear and the Pig come on holiday to africa. Balloon Bear loves all the animals and wants to stroke them all. The Pig hates it, and knows some animals (he actually thinks all of them) want to eat him. He would much rather lie on a beach listening to some disco music.

2006-05-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

The Pig and Rodney like to sleep under the Christmas tree.

2006-05-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

The day after one of their bestest days ever.

2006-05-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

Rodney

2006-05-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

The Pig

2006-05-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Little Brown

2006-05-20T06:13:00.000-07:00

Balloon Bear

2006-05-20T05:56:00.000-07:00

The Pig came to live with us about 15 years ago. Before he had lived on the Boots small animal farm at their shop in Lincoln.

At first he lived in the car ( a Peugeot 205) which he thought was his. He came with us on holiday to France where we took pity on him one dark and stormy night and brought him indoors. We haven’t been able to get him to sleep in the car since – he seems to think the gap between the pillows on our bed is far more to his liking. Mind you he still thinks any money left in the car belongs to him.
Now the Pig goes everywhere we go. He even goes to work with Jane, though he doesn’t help much with this as he can’t read or write or count (no matter what he claims).

We got Balloon 14 years ago. He arrived in a balloon having been rescued from a show somewhere. He was born in Branston near Lincoln in the front room of a little cottage. It was all rather traumatic, as the balloon got very tight when the air was let out and it was a real struggle to free him from it. Balloon has never forgotten his origins however and always gets very excited whenever he sees a balloon.

As a small bear Balloon was very timid. He tended to be the one picked on by the others and showed no signs of being the bossy little so and so he has turned out to be in his latter years. Indeed so fainthearted was this little bear that he rarely went out and cringed even if his name was mentioned.

As he grew older he started to come out of himself – some might say a little too much as now there are no bounds to this bear’s cheek. Once he had grown out of being a cub he developed a total lack of sense – the words “no fear” was a slogan written around this bear!

We started taking the Bear to rugby matches around ten years ago, though he was a big fan well before that, having watched it on the TV. It is now just about his bestest thing , he thinks Welford Road is a Temple and that a trip to see the Tigers play is a religious experience. He wears an England rugby shirt with the number 8 on the back, homage to his hero Dean Richards who he has met, which was his proudest moment. Deano signed Balloon’s shirt, and we had to use a blowtorch to prise it off the little tinker’s back!

The Bear likes the Pig, but very rarely admits it. He is more likely to demonstrate his affection through a boot up the arse when the Pig isn’t expecting it. The fights that then develop are always explained as “axibumps” with the Bear steadfastly refusing to accept any blame whatsoever.

Originating from Yorkshire, Little Brown is an intelligent, articulate and (mostly) sensible bear. He is very clever and knows everything there is to know about cooking (at least he thinks he does). Can be a little spiky if he is prevented from watching cookery programmes.

In fact cooking is an obsession with this Bear. Cookery programmes on TV especially Gary Rhodes, Jamie Oliver and Keith Floyd are his favourites – and he loves to watch UK TV Food channel all day given half a chance.
Like the Pig and Bear he loves films with shooting, blowing things up etc etc. Needless to say, Steven Seagal in the Under Siege movies is his hero. (“I also cook”). His big plus point is that he can cope with a little more plot in a film than the other three, though we also suspect his greater intelligence makes him the most dangerous of the gang as we suspect he has learnt how to use the TV remote control.

Finally, what can we say about Rodney? A Lincolnshire Rhino, Rodney is a gentle soul who doesn’t know his own strength especially when practising scrumaging with the Pig, Balloon and Little Brown. He is the youngest member of the gang and the most timid. Rodney is devoted to the Pig and has, sadly, been led astray by him to some extent. The Pig often enlists Rodney’s help with surprise attacks on Balloon Bear – these can end in tears. He is always sorry after the event but will do it all over again when the Pig instigates another raid.

Rod loves planes and used to love watching the Red Arrows display team practice from his bedroom window. Rod wears a number 1 on his rugby shirt as he's very much a little prop forward. Like Little Brown though he never leaves the house - well occasionally he peeps his head out of the door if he hears an interesting helicopter.